We all do it– often without even realizing.  We make assumptions about people, situations, and even God’s will in our lives.  While assumptions may seem harmless, they can often lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and missed opportunities for growth in relationship.

What Are Assumptions

At its core, an assumption is something we accept as true without proof.  It is a conclusion we draw based on limited information, our own biases, or past experiences.  While assumptions are often made unconsciously, they shape our thoughts, behaviors, and reactions.

For example, if someone fails to return our call, we might assume they are upset with us or intentionally ignoring us.  These thoughts may have no basis in reality, but they influence how we feel and act.  Perhaps the person was simply busy or didn’t see the call but by assuming the worst, we generate negative emotion unnecessarily.

In the context of relationships, assumptions can build invisible walls.  When we assume we know wny someone acts a certain way or what they think, we stop asking questions.  Communication breaks down, and the space between us and the other person grows.

From a Catholic perspective, assumptions can also interfere with our relationship with God.  We may assume that God is distant when we don’t feel His presence or assume that we know His plan for uss without truly discerning.  Such assumptions distance us from the humility needed to trust in His providence.

Why Are Assumptions Not Helpful?

1. They Lead to Misunderstandings: Assumptions fill in the gaps when we lack information, but tey often do so inaccurately.  When we make assumptions about others, we base our conclusions on incomplete knowledge, leading to misunderstandings.  This can harm relationships, whether personal or professional.  Instead of giving people the benefit of the doubt or seeking clarity, we jump to conclusions, which can make us feel frustrated, resentful, or hurt.
2. They Prevent Open Communication: Making assumptions closes off communication.  If we thik we already know what someone means or feels, we may not seek clarification or ask for more information.  In relationships, particularly, this can lead to unspoken resentments or unresolved conflicts.  For example, in a marriage, assuming your spouse understands your needs without expressing them can lead to frustration and disappointment.  Over time, assumptions build walls rather than bridges.
3. They Reflect Our Own Insecurities and Biases: Assumptions often come from a place of insecurity or bias.  We project our own fears, beliefs, and experiences on to others, interpreting their actions through our own lens.  This is particularly dangerous because we aren’t giving others the opportunity to explain themselves.  Instead, we are drawing conclusions that may not have anything to do with the reality of the situation.  When we assume, we put our own emotional baggage on others rather than dealing with it ourselves.
4. They Can Hurt Our Faith: In a spiritual sense, assumptions about God’s will can hinder our relationship with Him.  For example, when we assume that silence from God mans He isn’t listening, we might distance ourselves from prayer.  But in Catholic teaching, we are reminded that God’s way sare not always immediately apparent to us.  The story of Job is a prfound example.  Job’s friends made assumptions about why he was suffering, but n the end, it was Job’s humility and trust in God’s mysterious wisdom that were praised.
   

Catholic Theology on Assumptions

Catholic theology teaches that humility is key to avoiding assumptions.  By recognizing our limitations and understanding that only God possesses full knowledge, we approach life with an open heart.  Assumptions, on the other hand, are often born out of pride– the belief that we know more than we actually do.

1. Humility and  Trust in God: St. Augustine reminds us, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”  In our restlessness, we can sometimes make assumptions about how God is working in our lives.  Instead of relying on our assumptions, Catholic teaching encourages us to trust in God’s providence and timing.  When we are humble, we admit that we don’t know everything and place our trust in God’s plan rather than jumping to conclusions based on our limited understanding.
2. The Sin of Rash Judgment: In Catholic moral teaching, rash judgment is a sin against charity.  Rash judgment involves assuming the worst about another person without sufficient evidence.  This kind of assumption damages not only our relationships with others but our spiritual growth.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2477) warns us agains rash judgment, stating that we should interpret others’ actions in the most charitable light whenever possible.
3. Pope Francis on Dialogue: Pope Francis has often emphasized the importance of dialogue over assumptions.  He reminds us that genuine dialogue requires humility, listening, and openness to the other person’s perspective.  In his apostolic exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, he calls for a “culture of encounter,” one that is open and engaged withothers rather than assuming we know their hearts and minds.  This is especially important in a world where people are often judged base don their appearance or background, leading to further division and misunderstanding.

How to Avoid Making Assumptions

1. Cultivate Curiosity and Ask Questions: One of the simplest ways to avoid assumptions is to ask questions.  When we feel tempted to jump to conclusions, taking a moment to seek clarification or learn more about a situation can make all the difference.  Whether in relationships, work settings, or our spiritual life, being curious about others’ perspectives and experiences allows for deeper understanding.  St. Benedict in his Rule emphasizes the importance of listening.  His call for “listening with the ear of the heart” reminds us to be attentive and open to others, rather than assuming we already know their intentions.
2. Practice Active Listening: Often we assume we understand someone based on a few words or gestures.  However, active listening requires us to be fully present, paying attention not only to the words being spoken but to the emotions and intentions behind them.  Active listening fosters empathy, which breaks down assumptions.  When we listen with compassion, we are more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than assuming the worst.
3. Acknowledge and Challenge Your Own Biases: Being aware of our biases is crucial in avoiding assumptions.  We all carry unconscious biases based on our upbringing, culture, and experiences.  These biases influence how we can perceive others and the world around us.  By regularly reflecting on our biases and asking ourselves whether our assumptions are based on evidence or preconceived notions, we can begin to see people more clearly and compassionately.
4. Be Patient and Open to Mystery: From a spiritual perspective, avoiding assumptions requires embracing the mystery of life and God’s plan.  We won’t always know why certain things happen, but faith calls us to trust in God’s greater wisdom.  Instead of assuming that we now what’s best, we can surrender our need for control and allow God’s grace to guide us.  As the Proverbs 3:5 reminds us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.”  Letting go of assumptions is a form of trust, both in others and God.
5. Embrace Humility: At the heart of avoiding assumptions is the virtue of humility.  Humility teaches us to recognize our limitations and acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers.  This isn’t a weakness but rather a strength that allows us to be more open to others and to God’s will.  Humility also fosters a spirit of service, as we seek to understand others rather than judge them.  Jesus, in His ministry, consistently broke through societal assumptions, choosing to engage with the marginalized and the misunderstood.

Conclusion

Assumptions are part of human nature, but they are not inevitable.  By becoming more aware of when and why we make assumptions, and by cultivating habits of curiosity, humility, and trust, we can foster deeper, more meaningful relationships with others and with God.  Catholic theology, with its emphasis on humility, charity, and the mystery of God’s will, provides a rich framework for avoiding assumptions and embracing a life of openness and love.  Let us strive to see others– and ourselves– not through the lens of assumptions, but with the eyes of faith and compassion.