What Do You Seek? ( John 1:35-42)

In John 1:35-42, we witness the apostles’ first encounter with Jesus.  In this encounter Jesus asks them, “What do you seek?”  The apostles respond with, “Rabbi, where are you staying?”

Like the apostles, I would probably not think through how to respond to the question Jesus asks here.  At the same time, if I need to be honest with myself there are things I seek.  Even though I have my own personal desires, I find myself responding with the answer of what I should seek.

I should seek a life of humility and service.  The places I should look to act on these are either a parish, college campus ministry, hospital, or a non-profit outreach.  While these are viable responses, it doesn’t answer Jesus’ question.

The question Jesus is asking His apostles and us today is what do you desire, and how are you allowing God to perfect that desire for His glory.  As I embark on my journey of my Catholic human formation with the Metanoia Catholic Academy, I’ve already begun to develop a different way of approaching Jesus’ question.

Turns out discovering what we seek starts with an awakening desire.  These desires are actually placed on our hearts by God.  For example, when I was in college I went through a period of discernment.  I explored the possibility of religious life.  Throughout my time and involvement in campus ministry, I developed a strong connection with Mother Teresa.  It was something I had to query.  In fact, I would encounter images of Mother Teresa like a picture on the wall, or a quote in a book as if she were the guiding light God placed on my path. 

As this became a real curiosity I had to explore my call to sanctity.  I attended a religious life retreat, found a spiritual director, and allowed myself to be open to the idea.  Then, one afternoon a gentleman from the archdiocese of San Antonio gave our campus ministry group a presentation on Theology of the Body.  The Theology of the Body contains talks given by John Paul II in which he discusses the bodily dimension of human personhood, sexuality, and marriage in the light of biblical revelation.  This is basically the Catholic Church’s sex education.  The man giving us the talk on Theology of the Body included a picture of Mother Teresa in his presentation.  This confused me for a minute, and called me to reflect on my own desires about sex and having children.

As I contemplated my desire for sex with my future spouse, I presented it to God.  I said, “God I want to have sex and I want to be a mom, but I want to act on these desires in the way you call us to do so.”  Mother Teresa was definitely a mother to many children who were not wanted by their own moms, or orphaned for other reasons.  While I could recognize her spiritual motherhood, a part of me wanted to carry a child.  So, I turned to the Blessed Mother and recognized that she was blessed with the gift of carrying a child (granted she didn’t have sex to get pregnant, giving birth to the Son of God is obviously a special case).  My desire for sex remained, and I began to learn more about other saints who were mothers to include one of my favorites, St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.  These scenarios confirmed that the desire in itself was not shallow, nor was it sinful.

After one night of talking with one of the sisters I had met on the religious life retreat, she encouraged me to go find my prince.  She assured me that it was okay to be picky in my search for my husband.

Eventually, I did find my husband, and eventually I did have my daughter.  Now, I’ve dedicated my life as the Catholic Fitness Coach helping Catholics to fall in love with the good, true, and beauty of their bodies.  There is evidence in scripture and our tradition that the body matters.  Acknowledging we all have bodies with natural urges is a good thing.  Learning how to act on those in line with God’s will while enjoying the gift of human life can be a challenge.  Nonetheless, the both-and is possible.  And yes, it can done with fitness.  God can transform us from the inside out for His glory.  The first step is presenting them to God.  Once we present our desires, God can mold and mature them.  God can work with the clay we offer Him.  The more clay we give God, the bigger the vessel He can create with us.

As He is molding our clay and writing our story, we have to engage in the next step and take responsibility to live out our unique call to sanctity.  The mission God has for my life is one only I can live out.  He is inviting you and me and encouraging me to become the lead characters in our own story.  The life of a Christian is not a spectator sport, but one that requires time for prayers and taking action.

We have a responsibility to the life God has given us and to become who we are.

The ultimate question we all have to answer in manifesting our desires is:

Are you playing the lead with God in your story?

OR

Are you watching from your couch?

Your answers to the respective can also apply to your fitness goals.

What do you seek?